


All New Friends Must pass a Thoruogh Background Check

by LAW28



Series: Meeting Robin [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 18:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17350247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LAW28/pseuds/LAW28
Summary: Batman's Children interview the Justice League for the position of being Batmans Friends





	All New Friends Must pass a Thoruogh Background Check

**Author's Note:**

> I own Nothing

Carefully floating down to street level with Wonder Woman at my side, the wiggling, Flash tucked under one arm, and holding one end of Aquamans trident while he holds the other. I scan the very rough rundown warehouse district that Batmans signal led us to.  
Aquaman jerks his trident out of my hold and starts checking it for any dents, as soon as his feet touch the ground.  
Smirkingbjust a little I continue to look around, breathing in the thick smog filled air.  
It’s unusual enough for Batman to call us, for help even though we’ve been working together for several months now, ever since Beowulf attacked Earth. It’s even more unusual for him to call us to Gotham since he has a strict no interference policy about His city.  
I was halfway expecting Gotham to be burning down with an alien invasion tearing the City in two, since the only thing he said on the com’s was “Get down here now.” Before hanging up.  
However all seems quiet, there’s no yelling or screaming, yeah I can hear a few alarms going off and some sirens from police cars, but that’s pretty normal for Gotham.   
The street we are standing on is dead silent though, the lines of old warehouses dark and ominous looking in the dark Gotham night, but I can’t tell what might have called us here, the warehouses are lined with lead, simply because they are so old, so I can’t see inside to find the trouble.  
Guess we will have to find out the hard way.   
Sighing I set Flash down, vaguely hoping that he won’t just take off, without us.  
“Huh. Seems pretty quiet. I was sure Batman would only call us if the apocalypse was happening here.” Flash says his head swiveling around as he talks.  
His red suit almost painfully bright compared to the natural darkness of the warehouses around us. A pickling feeling on the back of my neck, has all my hairs standing up. Carefully I scan the surrounding buildings but I don’t see or hear anything suspicious.  
“The signal came from inside, we will not discover what is going on standing out here. Come.” Wonder Woman orders marching toward the steel door in the brick building. Her long black hair swaying from side to side with every forceful step she takes, her boots clicking against the ground like the beat of war drums.  
Aquamans shrugs then follows her, with Flash and me bringing up the rear.  
Wonder Woman doesn’t even try to be stealthy which I know would earn her a glare from the Bat, especially in his city.  
The inside of the warehouse is dark, like everything else in Gotham apparently.   
“I think I’m beginning to understand why Batman is so dark and gloomy all the time. I would be to if I lived here.” Flash says his eyes darting around and his legs tensing as he forces himself to keep to a normal speed and stay with us.  
The warehouse is really just one big room filled with lumber and boxes, with a few smaller rooms off to the sides, and what looks like a metal table in the center of the room, with chairs to match.   
It’s shiny and new. It didn’t fit with the dirt and grim of the rest of the warehouse.  
There’s a soft creaking sound off to the side, then the hissing sound of air escaping a sealed container, thick gray smoke fills the air, at the same time a really high pitched whistling shriek stabs into my ears, drowning out every other sound, except the painfully loud noise that drives spikes into my head. Instinctively my hands come up clamping down over my poor ears, but that doesn’t help at all if anything the noise just gets louder.  
Bright white strobes of light seem to come from all the walls blinding me. Slamming my eyes closed to avoid having my eyes totally ruined, I can still see the intense bright, painting the back of my eyelids a glowing red, with every flash of light.  
What is going on? The thought is quickly followed by, If this is one of Batmans surprise training drills I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.  
Something tightens around my arms and chest, with enough force that I’m slammed into the wall and held there, as an all to familiar, almost painful draining sensation saps my strength.   
Kryptonite. Oh yes I’m going to kill Batman. I may have agreed to be exposed to the stuff during training drills, to get a feel of how to fight it’s effects, but I would prefer to have a little warning before I have to deal with it.   
Finally the shrieking sound stops allowing me to hear Aquamans very loud and creative swearing. In multiple languages.  
A few seconds later the flashing light that I can still see even through my closed eyelids, stops as well.   
Opening my eyes I’m met with the rather embarrassing sight, of Wonder Woman, trussed up and suspended upside down from one of the rafters by her own golden lasso. Flash surrounded by golf ball sized metal balls that seem to be making a bubble of no gravity, that’s holding him off the ground rendering his speed useless. Aquaman thrashing on the ground tangled up in some kind of flexible metal cables.   
For a second I can’t help but want to laugh because, the only member of our team without any powers is the one who can take all of us out in just a matter of seconds.  
Then my eyes spot the small figure, too small to be Batman.  
Standing over my trapped comrade is what appears to be a ten year old boy, holding Aquamans trident in one hand and a katana in the other. He’s dressed in a dark red armored long sleeved shirt with a yellow R on the chest, dark green almost black armored pants, gloves, and mask, combat boots that are just a shade lighter green, a yellow utility belt very similar to Batman’s around his waist, and a black cape with the hood pulled up over his head.   
Standing a little to the side of Flash is a tall, broad shouldered, man in a brown leather jacket, light gray body armor with a red bat on the chest, and a matte red helmet covering his head. A larger than normal pistol in one of his hands, the barrel appears to be about the same size as the anti gravity balls on the floor.  
The snap of a cape has me looking up just in time to see a black shape leap down from the rafters where Wonder Woman is hanging from her lasso. Upon seeing the black siloihett my first thought is that Batman is here, but it only takes a second once the figure hits the ground and straightens up that she is much smaller than Batman and where Batman leaves his mouth and chin visible on his costume this girl has sown hers shut, so that the black mask covers her whole face. Everything else about her costume is a perfect match for Batman’s uniform.   
That realization sends a shiver down my spine, because she has to be a hardcore fan to have made her costume an almost exact replica of Batmans.  
What is going on here? Surely Batman wouldn’t bring all these kids in just for a training drill?   
A spotlight comes on, over the metal table with five chairs, two of which are already occupied.  
How did they get there? No one was sitting there when we first walked in.  
Sitting in the center chair is a young man, no older than his early twenties, with an athlete’s build, in black body armor, with a bright blue bird on his chest, floppy black hair falling into a dark blue domino masks white lenses.   
On his right is a teenager, with spiky black hair, a black domino mask, red and black body armor, with utility belts strapped over his chest and waist, kinda like a parachute harness.   
Resting in front of each chair is a sheet of paper and a pen.   
We got caught by a bunch of teenagers. That’s more than a little embarrassing. Wherever he is I’m sure Batman is laughing himself sick.  
The boy with the blue bird claps his gloved hands once, effectively drawing all the attention to him, “Alright good work, everyone. Now Agent A and Oracle can only distract Batman for an hour at the most, so let’s get this done quick.”  
This earns the young man several agreeing nods from his companions as the other three join the two boys at the table, settling into the empty chairs, and looking at us with a frankly unnerving intensity.  
“What is going on here?” I ask flexing against the kryptonite laced cables holding me to the wall. They don’t even strain to hold me. Which is surprising.  
“Ok, so since we have a limited amount of time and we all have questions for you, we have limited our questions to five per person. We will be asking the questions you will be answering them.” The seemingly oldest of them says rubbing his hands together, with a bright open smile that is very different from the narrowed eyed glares the others are giving us, as they completely ignore my question.  
The one next to the main speaker, straightens the papers in front of him, looking like some oddly dressed office worker, “I’m Red Robin, my partners are Nightwing, Red Hood, Black Bat, and Robin,” He indicates each of the other people present as he says their names, “We are responsible, for interviewing and screening your applications, which I see you failed to actually submit.” He looks up from his papers glaring at us for a moment before resting his folded gloved hands on top of the table, power and control rolling off of him in waves, as he somehow makes the simple movement seem like a threat, “That’s ok though, we’ve all been a little busy, which is why this interview has been pushed back for so long.”  
“What are you talking about? Interview for what?” Flash actually sounds curious, when he asks.  
Red Hood kicks his feet up on the table, his tone almost bored when he says, “The review of your applications to be Batman’s friends.”  
Nightwings tone is almost excited as he says, “Now don’t get us wrong we are happy Batman is finally socializing a little bit, but we have to make sure he is making friends with the right people.”  
Robin has his arms crossed over his chest, and even though he is the smallest one here he is still somehow managing to look down his nose at us as he says, “After all Batman is far to kind it makes him easy to take advantage of.”  
I barely manage to keep my mouth from dropping open, because kind and easily taken advantage of, are not words I would use to describe the most terrifying man I’ve ever laid eyes on. And that’s including Doomsday.  
Flash doesn’t bother stopping himself from bursting out in hysterical laughter, as the rest of us just stare dumbfounded at the, completely serious nods of agreement from the rest of the teens at the table.  
“Are their any objections? No, good. Nightwing as the oldest you get to go first.” Red Robin says taking advantage of our shock.  
Nightwing nods then leans forward placing his folded arms on the table, no trace of that bright smile left in his expression or attitude, “Did you know Batman planed to sacrifice himself during your fight with Beowulf?”  
“No!” The startled denial that comes from my throat is echoed by the dismayed voices of the other Leaguers  
Our questioners all turn to Black Bat, only after she gives them a nod, does a pleased smile spread over Nightwings face.   
Nightwing asks four more questions including what our favorite cereal is and what we consider appropriate team building experiences to take Batman on.   
I had no intention of answering any of their questions, but this is just so surreal, that the words just come out, plus just looking at that expectant face makes me spit the answers out. Maybe Nightwings a meta.   
If we ever get out of this we will have to warn Batman about this dangerous new group of stalkers that seem way to interested in him.  
Once Nightwing has asked all five of his questions he nods to the red helmeted member of the group, “Your turn. Remember don’t waste your questions, you only get five.”  
“You mean like you did with that cereal question, Goldie.” Red Hood sneers.  
Nightwing holds up his hands and leans back in his chair, “You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of cereal they like.”  
“Whatever Wing.” Hood says turning so that the blank white lenses are staring at us, “Are you attempting or plan to try, manipulating or coercing Batman into actions that go against his moral code, and beliefs?” Red Hood is perfectly casual as he asks but all of their eyes are sharp and pointed the weight of their suspicion heavy.  
“Of course not. We would never be dishonorable enough to do such a thing, to a friend and comrade." Wonder Woman declares, somehow still managing to sound formidable even as she slowly spins at the end of her lasso.  
After checking with Black Bat, Red Hood asks another four questions, all of them focused on what our intentions with Batman are.  
Honestly this is beginning to feel like that first time I asked a girl out on a date and her father sat me down and had a Talk with me.  
Red Hood just gives Red Robin a nod when he’s done.   
“If Batman ordered you to retreat, and leave him to face an obviously stronger opponent, would you?” Red Robins voice is perfectly bland, his expression blank. A quick look at the other four provides no help deciding how to answer that.   
I mean of course we wouldn’t just leave him, but what do these guys want to hear us say.  
“I don’t care what Bats orders, there’s no way I’d leave him to fight alone. Not if he needed my help!” Flashes voice rings out.  
After Black Bats nod, all of the kids at the table give Flash approving nods. Then Red Robin continues with his questions, all four are about what we would do in hypothetical situations.  
The youngest boy barely waits for us to finish answering Red Robins last question before speaking.  
Robins question is hurled more like an accusation, “Is your friendship,” The word is said like it’s an insult, “With Batman, merely to gain access to his, tools, abilities, wealth, influence, and superior intelligence to aid your inferior little minds in solving your problems.”  
For a moment all I can do is stare at the kid who is sneering down his little nose at us.   
Who are these kids, and why do they seem so protective of Batman?  
“Listen here, you little brat. We are not using Batman in any way. Yes he helps us when we need it, but we would happily help him if he needs us.” Aquamans snarls.  
Robin gives an almost grudging nod, when Black Bat nods at Aquamans words. His next questions are hard and pointedly directed at our competence as fighters and our ability to give Batman proper backup. Which has Wonder Woman practically ready to challenge the kid to a duel, right this second.  
“Alright, Black Bat, it’s your turn.” Nightwing says turning to the only member of the group who hasn’t said a word the whole time.  
She shakes her head, hands moving in a series of intricate signs.  
“You sure Black Bat, we don’t mind translating for you.” Red Robin says leaning forward so he can see the only female of the group better.  
She nods and makes a few more signs, which has all of the boys nodding.  
Nightwing turns back to us, “Black Bat has decided not to ask any questions, because she has learned everything she needs to know from watching you all.”  
That’s not completely creepy, I think eyeing the girl whom I can’t get any kind of read on.  
“Thank you for your time, we will have the results of your applications to be Batmans friends, to you by the end of the week.” Red Robin says picking up his paper and standing up.  
The others follow his lead clearing up their papers and standing up.  
Suddenly a dark shadow descends from the ceiling into the center of the room, narrowed white eyes glaring at everyone present, as he lands almost without sound on the concrete floor. The teens don’t even look surprised or upset to see Batman suddenly appear.  
“What is going on here?” Batman demands.  
“BatmanI’msoooooogladtoseeyou,wegotacomfromyoutellingustomeetherebutwhenwegothereitwasjustthesekidsandtheywereaskingsomanyweirdquestionsandthelittleoneisreallycreepy.” I’m not sure that Flash even breathes during that sentence.  
Batman is utterly silent for a moment before turning his full attention to the group of costumed kids, “Nightwing what are you and your siblings doing here?”  
Nightwing is pouting at Batman, full on pouting like a five year old, as he says, “You refused to introduce us and we can’t just let you run around with a group of people who haven’t even been screened.”  
“I am perfectly capable of screening my own comrades.” Batman says voice unreadable.  
Red Robin steps forward a stubborn set to his jaw, “You never let us screen our friends. You always did it.”  
“And if we are to allow these, lower life forms to associate with you, then we must be sure that they have adequate skills not to get you killed trying to help them, Father.” I don’t hear another word out of Robins mouth.   
Father, he called Batman Father, and Batman called the others Nightwings siblings, so that means they are all Batman’s children.  
Suddenly getting caught by them doesn’t seem so embarrassing, if they were trained by Batman they have to be good.  
Batman lets out a long sigh, “Return home, we will discuss this when I return.”  
I half expect them to argue but they don’t, simply vanishing into the shadows of the warehouse, as If they were never there. Nightwing gives us a cheerful wave, before he vanishes, leaving us alone with a completely stoic Batman.  
“So, kids huh? Think we passed their little test?” Flash asks sounding equally curious and awed.  
Batman just lets another loud sigh, then gets to work freeing us from his kids traps.  
Batman has kids. I wonder if those five were the only ones?


End file.
